A Primer on Good vs. Evil in the NHL

Good:
Buffalo Sabres
Toronto Maple Leafs
Edmonton Oilers
Calgary Flames
LA Kings
Detroit Red Wings
Chicago Blackhawks
St. Louis Blues
Colorado Avalanche

Evil:
Montreal Canadiens
Boston Bruins
NJ Devils
NY Rangers
NY Islanders
Dallas Stars (Good if they go back to Minnesota)
Ottawa Senators (Despite Hasek)
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins

Who cares?:
Atlanta Thrashers
Carolina Hurricanes
Florida Panthers
Anaheim Mighty Ducks
Columbus Blue Jackets
Minnesota Wild
Nashville Predators
Phoenix Coyotes (Good if they go back to Winnepeg)
Tampa Bay Lightning
Washington Capitals
San Jose Sharks

A Brief History of Arsenal/gigawatt/My Kickass Van

circa 2004

My Kickass Van was founded in January 2002 through the open auditions at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in NYC.

My Kickass Van (1): Brandy Barber, Jane Borden, David Berman, Josh Cohen, Tarik Davis, Porter Mason, Mary Regan, Rob Webber

My Kickass Van (2): Brandy Barber, Jane Borden, David Berman, Tarik Davis, Porter Mason, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd

My Kickass Van (3): Brandy Barber, Jane Borden, Tarik Davis, Porter Mason, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Brian Fountain

My Kickass Van (4): Brandy Barber, Jane Borden, Tarik Davis, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Brian Fountain, Flynn Barrison

Gigawatt (1): Tarik Davis, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Brian Fountain, Flynn Barrison, Colton Dunn, Kate Spencer

Gigawatt (2): Tarik Davis, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Flynn Barrison, Colton Dunn, Kate Spencer, Joe O'Brien

Gigawatt (3): Tarik Davis, Mary Regan, Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Maggie Kemper, Kate Spencer, Joe O'Brien

Gigawatt (4): Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Maggie Kemper, Kate Spencer, Joe O'Brien, Rob Cacy

Gigawatt (5): Rob Webber, Charlie Todd, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Maggie Kemper, Kate Spencer, Joe O'Brien, Rob Cacy, Kevin Mullaney

Gigawatt (6): Rob Webber, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Rob Cacy, Maggie Kemper, Kevin Mullaney, Chistina Gausas, Peter Gwinn

Arsenal (1): Rob Webber, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Rob Cacy, Maggie Kemper, Kevin Mullaney, Chistina Gausas, Peter Gwinn, Chris Gethard

Arsenal (2): Rob Webber, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Maggie Kemper, Kevin Mullaney, Rebekka Johnson, David Martin, Porter Mason

Arsenal (3): Rob Webber, Flynn Barrison, Nate Shelkey, Maggie Kemper, Rebekka Johnson, David Martin, Porter Mason, Will Hines
CURRENT
[note: Porter Mason says: "MKV called ourselves 'Salon 221' briefly because that was the blackout line of our first ever Harold together in our first ever practice."]

Weird New York

My good friend (and former Arsenal teammate) Chris Gethard has published an awesome book called Weird New York. I should receive my copy tomorrow. Chris asked for input about Goodleburg Cemetery (where drunk high school kids would go to look for baby ghosts), as well as Lily Dale, a community of mediums and psychics about 10 minutes from my Alma Mater. Chris also asked about a haunted synagogue in Amherst, but I'd never heard of it.

In addition to writing, Chris also does comedy in NYC and teaches at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

Please buy his book.

edit: I just got it in the mail. It's awesome!!

Real Sports Headlines

from Rotoworld 11/11/05

According to Nutt, Dick to replace Johnson against the Cocks

Casey Dick - QB - AK - Oct. 31 - 6:15 pm et

According to coach Houston Nutt, freshman Casey Dick will replace Robert Johnson at quarterback this weekend against South Carolina. Dick passed Johnson and Alex Mortensen on the quarterback depth chart during the Hogs' week off. Expect a mass exodus of quarterbacks from Arkansas following this season. If Dick plays well expect Mort, Johnson and Cole Barthel to leave the program. Arkansas has Mitch Mustain one of the top high school QBs in the country coming next season. Oct. 31 - 6:15 pm et Source: Northwest Arkansas Times

True Tales of the BBQ, pt. II: The Walkouts

I worked at NYC's famous (infamous) Dallas BBQ from 1993-1998 as both a server and a bartender. These stories are true. I hope to make this a column much like the New York Times' Metropolitan Diary. Bon Appetit.
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Oh what clever scamps! The saucy party of 7 at table 205 sends their Waitron Errant to the pantry to wrap their left-over food for their journey uptown. Said waitron returns to find the group, perhaps swept up in a grand joie de vivre has left our fine brasserie with no small celerity. Our hero exits the restaurant through the front door in a near panic--for he does not have the means to cover their bill-of-fare. Oho! They ran to the bus stop in front of the restaurant where they wait for the M101. Moral: remember your getaway car!
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The charming couple and their brood (their propensity for eating is outmatched by their fecundity of reproduction!) in Section Four send our intrepid hero to the pantry to fetch more bleu cheese dressing to take with them--and please! Wrap those wings! When he returns they have vanished in a manner akin to a A. Conan Doyle novella!

But what is this? A clew! A young Cindy Loo-hoo returns from the loo looking for her family that has absconded without paying! But never fear, dear reader, for all was soon set right when the sheepish patriarch returned to the building to take his delightful offspring back to the manse.

"Forget something?" quipped our eager protaganist with a wink as he handed said gentleman the check.