planetwebber

Johnny Lunchpail Friday October 6 ONE NIGHT ONLY

2006-10-04T11:44:00.000-04:00

Friday October 6th at 10PM

ONE NIGHT ONLY

Johnny Lunchpail in Johnny Rides Again!

Longform, free form, organic form – jump into our pool.

Featuring: Patrick Dall'Occhio, Will Koehl, Matt Ostrom & Rob Webber.
Music by Ernie Privetera

Gotham City Improv
48 W 21st St, 8th Floor, Buzzer #13
Between 6th and 5th Aves

Subways: F/V, N/R/W to 23rd St

Tickets are $7

Reservations: 917-558-3549

or
info@gothamcityimprov.com

FC Barcelona and UNICEF

2006-09-15T17:56:00.000-04:00

For over 100 years FC Barcelona has had no advertising on their shirts, despite the complete acceptance of the practice by the rest of the world.

Now, instead of taking $100 MM + from some monolithic corporation (AIG, Samsung, Siemens, etc.), Barça has decided to PAY UNICEF $2 MM a year for the right to have the charity's logo all over their shirts and stadium.

Are you listening Yankees?

Lucky Pierre - The New Show

2006-08-03T14:58:00.000-04:00

Fridays at 10 Starting August 11.

LUCKY PIERRE

The three fleas of Lucky Pierre are physical and fearless. One suggestion. No boundaries. Second City alum Abby Sher and Johnny Lunchpail'ers Rob Webber and Matt Ostrom present four Friday nights of damn fine improv.

The Magnet Theater
234 West 29th Street
NYC
212-244-8824

Meat Loaf Drops Lawsuit

2006-08-03T10:13:00.000-04:00

Bat III Lives!

From REUTERS:

Meat Loaf resolves "Bat out of Hell" suit

By Claudia ParsonsMon Jul 31, 9:47 PM ET

Veteran rocker Meat Loaf has resolved a dispute with songwriter Jim Steinman over trademark rights to "Bat Out of Hell," dropping a multimillion-dollar lawsuit over the title of the best-selling 1977 album.

"It resolved itself very quickly because neither one of us wanted to argue," Meat Loaf told Reuters in an interview on Monday at an event to promote "Bat out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose," set for release on October 31.

"There's a mutual love and respect there," he said.

"We're not going to have a knock-down brawl. We just have too much history," Meat Loaf said, speaking fondly of the man who produced the original album that shot the portly Texan to stardom after his breakout appearance in the cult film "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Meat Loaf, who was born Marvin Lee Aday, had filed a suit earlier this year claiming that Steinman wrongfully registered the phrase as his trademark in 1995.

Steinman wrote the title track and several others on the original album and the 1993 follow-up "Bat out of Hell II: Back into Hell." The two albums have sold a combined total of more than 45 million copies and spawned such rock classics as "You took the words right out of my mouth" and "I'd do anything for love (but I won't do that)."

Meat Loaf said there had never been serious antagonism between the two. "Sometimes there's just disagreements that in business two people can't settle, so you just need to involve other people ... You always hate to see it get to that."

Unveiling the third album in the trilogy to the media, Meat Loaf said Steinman had written seven songs on the new record.

"If it was not for Jim Steinman and his brilliance and his ability to turn a phrase and his concepts, we wouldn't be here tonight," Meat Loaf said of his collaborator who did not attend the event in a nightclub in a converted church lit by candles.

"He really liked the record, that's really important to me," he said. "We tried to show him as much respect and loyalty as we could because we're doing 'Bat out of Hell III.' It's his concept to do 'Bat out of Hell III."'

Among the Steinman tracks on the album, which was produced by Desmond Child, known for his work with the likes of Bon Jovi and Aerosmith, is the ballad "It's all coming back to me now," which was a big hit for Celine Dion although it was originally written for the first "Bat out of Hell."

Meat Loaf said he felt a deeper personal connection to many of the songs on this album than in past songs. He was also challenged by Child to adapt his style to work with writers such as Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue and Marilyn Manson's John 5.

"(For example) 'Blind like a Bat,' I've never sung rock songs like that," he said. "I think you'll recognize it as classic Meat Loaf. But you're going to be surprised too."

Meat Loaf, who is deliberately vague about his age with reports of his year of birth ranging from 1947 to 1951, said he had no plans for a fourth in the series. "I don't know how anybody could live through it," he said. "I don't think I have the time, I don't think the years will allow it."

But he is planning some major gigs to promote the latest album, including an October 16 London show at the Royal Albert Hall in three acts, drawing on the three "Bat Out of Hell" albums. He will also bring the Bat to New York in November after the Halloween release of the new album.

Rio

2006-06-23T10:14:00.000-04:00

If you know me, you probably also know that I won a trip to Rio de Janiero at Blackstone's Christmas Party last December. After 6 months of not thinking about it, I have become OBSESSED WITH BRAZILIANA. I am ALL ABOUT this trip, which I'm probably taking at the end of October.

I have purchased, via Craig's List, a set of Pimsleur's Portuguese (Brazilian) language MP3s. Something like 48 CD's worth. Allegedly, the Pimsleur system is a great "audio only" way to learn (I want to listen on the train--not watch a series of jpegs at home on a computer screen like I'd have to do with Rosetta Stone, a popular competitor). The only language other than English that I have studied is Latin. Latin for 5 years in middle and high school. Not very practical unless you won a trip to Vatican City at your office Christmas party.

Since the USA has been booted from the World Cup, I am focused on Brazil and England. Ronaldo is still amazing despite his beer boobs. I have mixed emotions about his alleged, pending deal to come play for Red Bull New York. I walked across 46th Street after work yesterday (a neighborhood known as "Little Brazil" here in NYC) and the bars and restaurants were still packed from the Brazil vs. Japan match from earlier in the day.

I can't wait to drink caipirinhas and climb Corcovado.

More Russian Girls Want Me

2006-06-08T12:41:00.000-04:00

I'm glad she's not interested in "the money-bags". I also always wondered who managed "the insurance company". She must be loaded.

----------------------

About Irina

Profession/Occupation: The manager in the insurance company.
Height: 5'6"
Eyes: Blue
Build: Slender
Hair Color: Blonde

I think that I am the intelligent and decent girl. I am not have harmful habits and bad manners. I am the sociable and cheerful girl. Iam the purposeful person and I have always got used to achieve mine purpose. But at the same time I am womanly also I want will find persons which will a support for me and which will love me as I am will love him. I with confidence can tell that I have such character traits as the tenderness, the caress and the goodwill. And I hope that I
shall find my second half.

I want to find in the Internet my second half, but not for usual correspondence or for friendship. I want to find my love, mine soulmate! I don't search for benefit in that to find " the money-bags or rich man", I am really want will find the persons which to concern to me with tenderness and
caress (it really does not suffice for me). I want to feel like present woman, I want that I will be loved and respected.

More on Meat Loaf: Keep it Civil, People!

2006-06-08T10:50:00.000-04:00

Comments on the new Album Bat Out of Hell II: The Monster Is Loose.

Meat Loaf, Jim Steinman Please Get Over It.

2006-06-07T23:10:00.000-04:00

Please stop suing each other.

Do you need a reason to bury the hatchet? How about 45 million reasons? That's how many copies Bat Out of Hell and Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell have sold.

Yes Jim, sneakliy trademarking "Bat Out of Hell, Inc." in 1996 was underhanded.

Yes Meat Loaf, recording Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose without Steinman's songs or production would be a mistake.

There's enough money for everyone! Get back together!

Do more stuff like this:

BOY: On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth?

BOY: Yes

GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth?

BOY: Yes

GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws?

BOY: Yes

GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger?

BOY: Yes

GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger?

BOY: Yes!

GIRL: And will he starve without me?

BOY: Yes!

GIRL: And does he love me?

BOY: Yes

GIRL: Yes

BOY: On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

GIRL: Yes

BOY: I bet you to say that to all the boys.

And how about Dead Ringer for Love? What an awesome video.

Make it happen boys!

The Pine Valley Podcast

2006-06-05T22:24:00.000-04:00

Ashley and I just recorded our fifth episode of the Pine Valley Podcast. So far at our peak, we've had 43 active subscribers.

If you know anyone who likes ABC's All My Children, please send them our way. We need this to be huge!

Are "90/60/90" Your Measurements?

2006-06-01T13:11:00.000-04:00

From Svetlana--the latest Russian girl seeking my affection via unsolicited email:

To me of 27 years and all these years I live in the city of Yoshkar-Ola. I the nice, young, sociable girl. I like to read, I am fond of music, it is a little sports. I work at school as the teacher. Very much I love children. At me brown eyes. I a brunette. A constitution at me normal .?? not 90/60/90 and average. I was never married and consequently, unfortunately, and I have no children. I would like to have the child. I would likeTo bring up it and to transfer all experience of a life to it. I yet do not know, how many I would like to have children, for the present in it not
It was defined. I do not have harmful habits, I do not smoke and I do not use alcohol, unless only in small quantity on Holidays. Most of all from alcoholic drinks I like red wine. From meal I prefer Russian kitchen.

On character I the cheerful person, try to enjoy each moment of my life and to overcome with a smile all difficulties of my life. At leisure I go in for sports. In the summer I like to go for a drive on a bicycle and on roller skates. The overall objective in my life is to find that only thing, my second part of me with which I can go through all difficulties of a life. It is desirable that it was the good family man, understood me.

Together to meet pleasure, occurrence of children, to grow them, to surround with care, to present them the happy childhood, I so to dream of it!!!

Waaaaaaaalt!

2006-05-18T10:50:00.000-04:00

I'm so sick of Michael it's ridiculous. I've never posted anything about ABC's Lost before, but last night's episode made me want to grab every Losty by the shoulders and shake them. Michael is bad news.

How could Jack not see through Michael's pleadings for the attack squad personnel assignments? Why select Hurley instead of Sayid or Jinn? Nobody in their right mind would have let Michael whine his way into being in charge. They already shouldn't trust him from the way he left Castaway Beach the first time. He wasn't questioned very thoroughly about Gale's escape, and didn't really account for his 13 day absence either.

Please--Jack is Sawyer's best friend? Come ON!

Pine Valley Podcast Premiere

2006-05-08T14:57:00.000-04:00

My good friend Ashley Mendoza and I have started the Pine Valley Podcast, a weekly analysis of events on ABC's long-running soap All My Children.

RSS Feed is here:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/PineValleyPodcast

Kill Your Darlings

2006-05-05T15:36:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know, Arsenal (aka My Kickass Van & gigawatt), the improv group I was in for 4+ years is no more. The good news is that I've been placed on a new team called Kill Your Darlings, which is full of promise. We have a few shows this month so please check my calendar on the left side of this page.

F-F-Foolin'

2006-05-05T15:34:00.000-04:00

My favorite Heavy Metal Song. Enjoy.

Snarky Book Reviews

2006-05-03T15:06:00.000-04:00

I have just a few pages left of "The Da Vinci Code". It took me a long time to start reading it because of my strict "no hardcover" policy. The paperback version came out last week.

I found the history aspect intriguing, but saw the plot "twists" pretty far away. It is better than "Angels & Demons" (the prequel) however, despite the presence of the Illuminati. I'll read anything about the Illuminati.

Davinci Code broke my streak of Fantasy novels that I have read in succession. I will give them letter grades and a trite blurb about each:

A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin. The sign of any good Fantasy author is the presence of two middle initials. He's easily my fave in the genre. Gritty and realistic. My only complaint is that the book wound up being HALF the story he intended to tell, with the second half due next year, which is disappointing. He's not terribly prolific and rumor has it he's very ill. Still, A-.

Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan. Book 11 of a ridiculously over-written 12 book series. He's got so many loose ends to tie up he could fill another 3 volumes at least. I don't know how he intends to wrap it all up. His fan base is getting angry. B-.

Chainfire by Terry Goodkind. Goodkind and Jordan rip each other off all the time. I won't bother listing the comparisons. Like Jordan, I am reading this series out of obligation at this point. Like A Feast for Crows, this one ends halfway through the story. I'm not on a good streak. C.

Gardens of The Moon by Stephen Erikson. Finally something creative and original. Gritty like Martin with a strong military bent. I love stories with big land battles for some reason. Maybe because I am a boy. B+.

The Darkness that Comes Before by R. Scott Bakker. A pretentious initial for a first name! Dark. Dark. But good. Writes totally in his own style. B+.

Burn! Johnny! Burn!

2006-02-22T11:48:00.000-05:00

Next week I fly out to Hollywood.

While I'm there I'll be performing in Burn! Johnny! Burn! a spontaneous theater group formed out of 2 members of legendary Burn Manhattan (Todd Stashwick and John Thies) as well as two members of the beloved Johnny Lunchpail (Myself and Will Koehl).

I think that these will be the deets:

Friday March 3rd
8pm The Beast
9pm BURN! JOHNNY! BURN!

$5 for both shows

The Hothouse
4934 Lankershim
Noho 91601

BYOB

Cell Phone Symphony

2006-02-21T13:02:00.000-05:00

This weekend I participated in an Improv Everywhere mission known as Cell Phone Symphony. A precisely timed event where 60 cell phones rang in harmony at a retail bag-check.

Fortunately I was part of the team of 60 that infiltrated the Strand Bookstore and wasn't subjected to the cold.

Nyarlathotep's Fantasy Baseball Roundup

2006-02-17T17:50:00.000-05:00

AAARRRggghhh! WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER *&&%#@ I AM THE BLOOD AND FLAME OF THE OLD ONES *&^*$( SACRIFICE WILL BE PAID HENCEFORTH AS )(&amp;amp;amp;*)( WRITTEN BY THE BOOK OF THE (*&$)6 DEAD!

(*&65 DRAFT DAY PCIKS TOP 10 IS LONG (*&(& SEASON BUT BEST PREDICTIONS (*$ A-rOD, pUJOLS, GUERRORRO, MANNY RAMIREZ, ORTIZ, SANTANA, YOG-SOTHOTH, TEXEIRA, LEE, WRIGHT *&^ tEJADA SO IT IS WRITTEN!

INFFIDELS WILL BE FLAYED UNTO THE DARK ONES AVOID AMERICAN LEAGUE PITCHING ESP IN THE LATER ROUNDS.

AAAAAAgggggg! TIME FOR MAILBAGG . . .

Dear Nyarlathotep,

I am in a head-to-head league, and I always have trouble with my starting pitchers. Scoring seems so random. Is there any way to predict when your roto stud SP is going to have a good day?

Regards,

Mike Shipp
Brockton, MA

GGGGAAAHHH! THE MAWS OF HELLFIRE ARE MINE &^%* AS A RULE ALWAYS START THE PITCHER WHO STARTS TWO GAMES EACH ^&amp;amp;$%$& WEEK!

Johnny Lunchpail Does Chicago a 4th Year in a Row.

2006-02-16T10:29:00.000-05:00

Chicago Improv Festival Official Selections.

It looks like they are changing the format up this year, which is cool.

Johnny K. will be flying in from Hollywood for this.

It's My Co-worker's Birthday Today.

2006-02-16T10:24:00.000-05:00

He's turning 28, and he received this email from his Dad this morning:

Dear Xxxx,

Happy Birthday. You are getting old. Don't you think it's time to find a girl? Don't worry. Not today or tomorrow. Within six mos to a year. Let me know when we can start looking or I will send you to India to find one.

Love,

Dad

No pressure!

I am famous everywhere else.

2006-01-25T16:47:00.000-05:00

Before my show last night at the UCBT, Bobby Moynihan and Eric Scott (of the UCB TourCo) approached and told me that I was "all over Miami". Apparently the TourCo played the 2006 Miami Improv Festival last week, and much of the artwork/banners/programs had reproductions of Johnny Lunchpail, including our infamous "fat" photo (the one prompting us to all go on diets). Apparently one of the banners was "8 foot tall". Miami has a great festival and I wish we coiuld have gone this year.

Meanwhile in newly conservative Canada, Johnny Lunchpail was listed as a top 10 comedy show of 2005 by Toronto's Now Magazine.

9) JOHNNY LUNCHPAIL (Toronto Improv Festival, August 19) Clad in dark blue industrial shirts, this quartet from New Yawk have a working-class look to match their guy-on-the-street name. Yet their improv comedy is anything but common. They've got a terrific sense of structure and visual play, mapping out scenes physically so they come alive for an audience. At their standout set at the summer's Toronto Improv Festival, they took us on a rough boat trip, into a haunted condominium and introduced us to a forklift operator with a thing for crushing people. They capped it off with a song about a mechanic that was hilariously well-lubed. -- Toronto Now Magazine 12/25/2005

Hopefully some of this will rub off in NYC soon.

Rob

Weird NY Live Continued (Lily Dale)

2006-01-13T14:32:00.000-05:00

Lily Dale is a village in Western New York (near Cassadaga) and is about halfway between Erie, PA, and Buffalo, NY. To own property there you have to prove before a board that you are a psychic or a medium or a healer. The village opens its' doors to visitors during the summer months, and I visited many times during the early 1990s.

Everyone at Lily Dale is a Spiritualist. Spiritualists believe that the spirits of the dead don't go to heaven or hell, but hang around on a spiritual plane and are able to speak to us through mediums. When you go to Lily Dale Assembly, you are permitted to attend the services held in the village (there is no fee--just a one day parking pass). Occasionally you may be approached by one of the mediums who asks permission to communicate messages to you.

These are some of my experiences there:

One of the mediums running the service at the Forest Temple told a woman near me that a man who crossed over wanted to speak to her. The Medium became confused for a moment, stammering, then asked the woman why he was showing her a monkey sitting on the back of a dog. Apparently the spirit was this woman's uncle, who had run a carnival at which there were daily dog races with monkey-jockeys. It was hilarious.

I got a message from my Grandpa, telling me to watch my paperwork at my job (I was managing a record store at the time) or else there would be trouble. I should have listened because a week later I was put on 90-day probation for not having my shit organinzed.

Another psychic there saw me driving a red car, and there would be trouble with the law so be careful. And why did she also see me driving a truck? The following week my red Renault was impounded because I owed $300 for a couple of tickets. She saw me driving a truck because I had rented one for the day after my trip to Lily Dale because we were striking the set of a play I was in. She said other things that came true but could be self-fulfilling. I DID move to NYC to "study" and "appear in front of the cameras", which was not really on my mind at the time. Eventually I'm supposed to move to Hollywood where I will follow in some famous person's shoes and become famous myself, living in a big house in the Hollywood Hills.

The most dramatic thing that happened on a trip to Lily Dale occurred once again at the Forest Temple. I had come to Lily Dale that time with my friends Chris & Ann Marie. I was crazy about Ann Marie and dated her off and on whenever she was home from her work as an entertainer on a cruise ship. It worked like this; Ann Marie would return from a 6 month contract, we would hook up and have a great time for a while before she would go back to the ship where we would write each other weekly (probably the only time I ever wrote proverbial "love letters" to anyone. These were pre-internet days) and after a month or so communication from her would stop because she found a ship-board boyfriend. A couple more months would go by and she would come home and we would eventually hook up again. I was nuts about her and the situation was terrible.

Chris, Ann Marie & I walked into the Forest Temple and sat down. The service finished and the reading began. The medium running the services was then interrupted by an older Medium lady with a German accent. She took the microphone and said something like this: "I haven't done one of these in years, but I saw someone walk in here and my head just whipped around". She pointed at Ann Marie and said; "YOU . . . Have to decide what you're doing because you are driving THAT boy CRAZY". She was pointing at me.

Ann Marie was shocked and I was smiling because I felt somehow vindicated.

Rob

Weird New York - Live!

2006-01-12T17:49:00.000-05:00

Chris Gethard asked me to help out with the live stage version of Weird New York last night at the Upright Citizens' Brigade Theater. I spoke about my experiences at Goodleburg Cemetery and Lily Dale.

Goodleburg Cemetery in Holland, NY is one of those places that suburban kids gather for underage drinking and awkward sexual fumblings. It's also super-haunted. In there 1800's there was a doctor who lived in a house there that would perform illicit abortions on young women. He buried the young corpses, as well as some of his patients in shallow unmarked graves all around the area of his home. People report hearing the voices of babies and young mothers looking for their children. There are dozens of photographs in books and on the Net that show floating orbs, strange figures and ectoplasm, all taken around Goodleberg. I, of course, have never seen these things. However one night a bunch of friends & I went up there to drink warm Genesee beer in the pitch black when Dyana (who was making fun of the place) fell down and hurt her shin (not badly). She said a ghost knocked her over. We laughed and said it must have been a bunch of baby-ghosts standing on each others' shoulders and pushing hard.

Lily Dale is a community of psychics and mediums located partway between Erie, PA and Buffalo. More on that tomorrow.

Rob

Dark Mark Seen Above Jets Practice Facility

2005-12-01T12:34:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine has created a great site combining sports and Onion-like snarky humor. It's called Spoiled Sports and is worth a shout. Thanks, Anthony.

A Primer on Good vs. Evil in the NHL

2005-11-18T10:22:00.000-05:00

Good:
Buffalo Sabres
Toronto Maple Leafs
Edmonton Oilers
Calgary Flames
LA Kings
Detroit Red Wings
Chicago Blackhawks
St. Louis Blues
Colorado Avalanche

Evil:
Montreal Canadiens
Boston Bruins
NJ Devils
NY Rangers
NY Islanders
Dallas Stars (Good if they go back to Minnesota)
Ottawa Senators (Despite Hasek)
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins

Who cares?:
Atlanta Thrashers
Carolina Hurricanes
Florida Panthers
Anaheim Mighty Ducks
Columbus Blue Jackets
Minnesota Wild
Nashville Predators
Phoenix Coyotes (Good if they go back to Winnepeg)
Tampa Bay Lightning
Washington Capitals
San Jose Sharks